


late night letters

by thesapphiresoul



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, Just Normal Letters But Essek Is Gay, Love Letters, M/M, Not Actually Love Letters, Potential Spoilers Up To Episode 117
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-02
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27794347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesapphiresoul/pseuds/thesapphiresoul
Summary: !!Potential Spoilers up to Episode 117!!Before he could start relaxing for the night, Essek heard a scratching sound from somewhere behind him. His eyes eventually fell on a small door in the wall near the floor next to the desk.The cats,Essek remembered. He crossed the room and unlocked the latch on the cat door. As soon as he did, the door sprung open and released a short-haired black cat. Upon seeing Essek, the cat meowed and sat at his feet, its large green eyes staring up expectantly.“Um, hello,” Essek said, giving the cat a small wave.The cat meowed again, this time pawing at the collar around its neck.Essek crouched down to inspect the cat closer. He was rewarded with finding a small roll of paper fastened to the cat’s collar with a string.“Is this for me?” he asked the cat.
Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast
Comments: 16
Kudos: 144





	late night letters

**Author's Note:**

> just thought i would specify that this was written and posted before episode 118 aired. can't wait for this entire thing to be refuted on thurday lol. enjoy!

Essek was still deciding if he had made a grave mistake or not.

That seemed to be a common occurrence lately. What was one more? His being in Eiselcross, for example. His relocation from Rosohna to Vermus may have officially been a direct order from above, but it was also his idea. He spent a few weeks carefully sewing offhand, and definitely true, remarks amongst his peers concerning how much stress he had been under lately, as well as his need to reconnect with the Luxon, and it had earned him a one way ticket north, out of the heart of the dynasty. He originally thought that lying low for a while, especially somewhere very out of the way and inaccessible by magical means, would be in his best interest. His one critical error in that plan was underestimating just how _cold_ it was going to be.

Unfortunately for Essek, the cold quickly became the least of his problems. At this point, he should have come to expect it. Once again, the Mighty Nein showed up on his doorstep completely unexpected and completely unannounced asking for assistance regarding whatever insane plot they had gotten tangled in, and once again Essek was powerless to deny them. Well, not literally on his doorstep, but at the moment a few miles away was too close for comfort.

He tried to deny them, though. He did try.

Essek was in Vermus to perform his duties as an upstanding citizen of the dynasty and that was exactly what he was going to do. He could not risk deviating from that; he could not afford any unwanted attention. A _Sending_ spell only allowed so many words, but Essek tried to convey as much when Jester messaged him out of the blue. He also hoped that his voice didn't betray just how happy and _relieved_ he was upon hearing her voice. He knew that the Mighty Nein had already seen him at his lowest, but he had nothing if not his pride.

The Mighty Nein ultimately had the advantage. Or perhaps more accurately, Essek was simply at a permanent disadvantage regarding a certain adventuring party. After many more _Sending_ spells convincing him that the foe they were chasing was definitely bad news for the dynasty, if not all of Exandria, he temporarily excused himself from his post on “urgent business”.

That was how Essek found himself standing in the main entrance floor of Widogast's Nascent Nein-Sided Tower. The others milled past him in a flurry, familiar with the space and their nightly routine, but he could not help admiring his surroundings. It was beautiful, all stained glass and polished stone. If this was just the front door, Essek was beyond interested in what the rest of the tower held. His gawking was cut short at the sound of Jester calling his name and waving him over to join the rest of the group.

Dinner passed quickly and uneventfully, although the food itself was quite eventful. The main dish was stew, a direct combat against the bitter cold outside, but the stew was accompanied by a plethora of side dishes, regardless if they complimented each other. Breads, meats, pies, pancakes--everything served by a staff of cats. It was easily the most diverse meal Essek had ever eaten, and it was also one of the most delicious.

After dinner everyone dispersed to their rooms to rest for the night, all sufficiently exhausted from the day’s travel. Caduceus showed Essek and the party’s guide, Dagen, to the guest quarters.

“Usually there’s just the one place for guests, as you know, Dagen, but tonight we have two guests, so Caleb had to improvise,” Caduceus said, motioning to the four doors in front of them. The large atrium they were standing in had nine walls in total. This half of the room had one door per wall, but with a quick glance over his shoulder, Essek saw there was a single door located on the wall directly behind them. This door was decorated with lilacs and buffered by two blank walls on both sides. His suspicion on who the room belonged to were answered when he saw Yasha quietly enter. “Everyone’s chambers are made up of three rooms,” Caduceus continued, “but Caleb said he just split up the normal guest quarters into three separate bedrooms. Not much else he could do on such short notice, but anyway,” Caduceus pointed to one of the doors on the left, this one marked with two crossed axes, “I believe that is your room for the night, Dagen.”

“Aye,” acknowledged Dagen. Essek watched as he rolled into the room and slammed the door behind him.

Essek turned his attention back to Caduceus. “I suppose that one is mine?” he guessed, pointing to the rightmost door marked with a simplistic symbol of a dodecahedron in the center.

“That would be it,” Caduceus smiled. “If you need anything, just ring for a cat. If you need anything for emergency reasons, Yasha and I are a knock away.” He emphasized the last point by tilting his head in the direction of the tall door to the left of Dagen’s.

Essek nodded. “Right. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Of course,” Caduceus said. “Goodnight, Essek. Sleep well.”

“Goodnight,” Essek replied as Caduceus disappeared into his room.

That just left Essek to explore his own chamber. Based on how excellent his glimpses of the tower had been so far—the foyer, the dining hall, the three-story library they passed—he could not imagine that whatever was behind this door was anything short of amazing. Grabbing the door handle, he carefully pushed it open and was not disappointed.

The room before him looked like it was transported straight from Rosohna. The architecture and furniture we undeniably of Xhorhassian make. On the wall to his right, Essek saw a fireplace, and above it, a beautiful stained-glass mural not unlike the one down in the foyer that represented dunemancy. The dark blue, purple, and black colors paired with the accents of white and silver all sparkled nicely in the firelight. The remainder of the wall on either side of the fireplace and mural was made up of empty built-in bookshelves. Adjacent to the fireplace was a comfortable looking sitting chair, and next the chair was a small table stacked with books. He glanced at the titles on the spines to see two that were in what he assumed to be Zemnian, one arcane text, and two that might have been romance novels. That later two books caused a confused furrow between his brows. Essek decided to look through all of the books at a later date and moved to the other side of the room. The beautiful four post bed sat against the wall opposite the fireplace with a nightstand on either side. The nightstand on the left held an arcane lamp and the one on the right held a device almost identical to the ley line tracker at his home in Rosohna. It was much smaller than the original, so it was much less intricate, but that did not stop the warm swell in his heart upon seeing it. To the left of the bed, there was a writing desk already stocked with paper and ink. Essek shed his winter layers to fold and stack them in the desk chair. This left the final and most appealing element of the room. In the corner to the right of the bed sat a large copper bathtub. It was at an angle, so the occupant had a view of the entire room. The stew from dinner had done well to fight off the deep chill of Eiselcross, but he was very much looking forward to a long, hot bath.

Before he could start relaxing for the night, Essek heard a scratching sound from somewhere behind him. His eyes eventually fell on a small door in the wall near the floor next to the desk. _The cats,_ Essek remembered. He crossed the room and unlocked the latch on the cat door. As soon as he did, the door sprung open and released a short-haired black cat. Upon seeing Essek, the cat meowed and sat at his feet, its large green eyes staring up expectantly.

“Um, hello,” Essek said, giving the cat a small wave.

The cat just meowed and stayed seated.

“I don't need anything. Thank you,” Essek tried awkwardly.

The cat meowed again, this time pawing at the collar around its neck.

Essek crouched down to inspect the cat closer. He was rewarded with finding a small roll of paper fastened to the cat’s collar with a string.

“Is this for me?” he asked the cat.

The cat meowed in what Essek hoped was affirmation as he untied the note. He managed a small, “Thank you,” before the cat exited back through the small door. He stood once more and moved to sit on the edge of the bed, unrolling the paper. It said:

_Herr Thelyss,_

_My apologies for not giving you a proper tour this evening. Before convening with you, we had a few altercations with some of the local fauna that have left me quite drained, both mentally and physically. And as we are operating on a somewhat strict timeline, I am afraid that there won’t be time for a tour in the morning, but I would be more than happy to show you around tomorrow night, if you would be interested. I also apologize for the meager accommodations. Though it is admittedly much better than sleeping in the outdoors, it is still only a third of its potential. Regardless, I hope everything is to your liking. I did my best to emulate the spirit of your home, drawing from the few parts of it I have seen. I hope my guess was close enough. If you have any specific request regarding your room, please do not hesitate to let me know and I will implement them for next time. If you need anything throughout the night, simply ring the bell near the cat door. One of the cats will bring you whatever your heart desires, within reason of course. With that I will bid you goodnight and thank you for accompanying us on this journey._

_Sincerely,_

_Caleb_

Essek bit his bottom lip in an attempt to suppress the smile threatening to stretch across his face. He would be lying if he said he wasn't afraid that Caleb was avoiding him. They hadn't talked much since meeting up, even during dinner, but neither he nor Caleb really talked to _anyone_ during that time. At least from what Essek had seen. The letter in his hands was reassuring proof that Caleb was only tired and did not, in fact, hate his very existence. Hopefully.

Still smiling, Essek rolled up the note again and returned to the desk to place the note in one of his coat pockets. He was aware of the temporary nature of the tower and all the objects within, but just in case the paper was from Caleb’s personal supply, he tucked it away for safekeeping. Now Essek was faced with the dilemma of using the paper on the desk or more permanent paper of his own. It seemed foolish to use his own stock of arcane grade paper and ink to write a short reply when there was perfectly usable paper and ink at his disposal. But what if _Caleb_ had deemed it necessary? He shook the thought from his head. That train of thought was foolish. He was overthinking what should be a completely mundane exchange. It was a simple thank you note to a friend a few rooms away, not a political proposal to the Bright Queen.

Essek stood at the desk and wrote on a swatch of the available paper:

_Caleb,_

_There is no need to apologize for anything. I am intruding into your space and would hate to burden you more than I already have, but I thank you, nonetheless. I will gladly accept your offer of a tour in the future. I have many questions regarding your process of creating this beautiful structure, as well as the many rooms it contains. Especially the library. I must also say that I am truly shocked this bedroom is what you consider “meager”. It is honestly nicer than my residency in Vermus. It's perfect. Your attention to detail is astounding. I hope to get around to reading the books you have provided here eventually, if I am able, but I am afraid the day's events have me ready to retire._

_Sincerely yours,_

_Essek_

Essek placed the quill down lightly and examined his work. Was the lack of honorific before Caleb’s name too casual? Was “Sincerely yours” too forward? With a huff, he forced himself to roll the small letter up after proofreading it six times and reached over the desk to ring the small bell on the wall above the cat door. All that was left to do was wait for one of the cats to arrive.

After an exceedingly long minute, the same black cat finally appeared, interrupting Essek’s impatient pacing. This time, as if it knew exactly why it was there, the cat leaped onto the desk before sitting with a meow.

“Ah, thank you,” Essek exhaled. Using the same string from Caleb’s note, he fastened his own letter to the cat's collar. “If you would kindly deliver that to Caleb.”

The cat responded by bumping its head into Essek’s outstretched hand and jumping down to the floor.

After the cat’s exit, Essek returned to the tub in the corner to prepare a bath. As nice as the surprise letter was, and it was quite nice, he was still determined to enjoy a hot bath. It wsn’t as though it had been a while since his last bath. His lodging in Vermus might not have been quite to his taste as his current quarters, but it was still befitting for a man of his station. He had had regular access to a warm bath. That regular access was what made him dependent on daily hot baths. Those baths had quickly become the highlight of his day. He _really_ was not meant for the cold.

Eager to relax into the water’s warmth, Essek began to remove the rest of his clothing. He was in the middle of pulling his undershirt over his head when he nearly jumped out of his skin at the sudden sensation of something soft brushing his bare ankle. He yanked his shirt from his shoulders to see the messenger cat weaving between his feet. “By the light,” he swore, abandoning the shirt to the pile of discarded clothes on the floor.

The cat meowed innocently.

With a shake of his head, Essek sighed and stooped to reach the cat’s collar. As expected, there was another letter. This message came much quicker than anticipated. Not that he was anticipating anything.

The cat scampered away once he untied the note. This time he locked the cat door after he watched the cat vanish back into the wall. It was best for everyone if his bath went undisturbed. Stepping away from the cat door, he lingered by the desk, leaning his weight on its edge as he opened the second letter. Caleb’s tight, scratchy cursive read:

_Essek,_

_I am glad to hear you have no complaints. Hopefully tomorrow will treat us kinder and leave me able to properly show you around. I have put much time and thought into this tower, so I should have answers to most of your questions. If I am being honest, I am also interested to hear your thoughts and opinions on the matter, as a fellow student of the arcane. Regarding the library, I feel I must warn you that it is only comprised of texts and tomes that I have memorized. It is not quite as expansive as the libraries to which I’m sure you are accustomed, but I hope it will still be satisfactory. This has gotten longer that I meant, and I do not wish to keep you from well needed rest. So, seriously this time, goodnight._

_Yours,_

_Caleb_

_P.S. Please do not feel obligated to reply. It is probably best for the both of us if we retire sooner rather than later, lest we fill this night with correspondence._

This time Essek let his smile remain unobstructed. He knew Caleb was right, of course, they were both already up later than they should be, but the temptation to scrawl out another quick response was immense. It was with great effort that he rolled up the second letter to place it in the pocket of his coat containing the first. He told himself the two of them would have ample opportunity to speak in the future.

For now, the bath demanded his attention.

\----------  
The next morning, after a breakfast just as interesting as dinner, Essek followed the Mighty Nein down to the tower’s front door. One by one, their party trekked back out into the frigid doom. Dagen quickly took the lead, carving a path through the heavy snow. Essek turned away from Dagen just in time to see the tower door disappear as Caleb ended the spell.

Caleb picked up the spell components from the ground and gave the group a nod. “Good to go.”

Determined to not allow Eiselcross to get the best of him, Essek pulled his scarf up to his nose, flipped up his fur lined hood, and stuffed his hands deep into his pockets. He almost didn’t feel it through his gloves, but there, still hidden in his coat pocket, he felt the unmistakable give of paper beneath his fingers. At the realization that Caleb’s letters had not vanished along with the tower, Essek was thankful for the scarf obscuring his face. The heat in his cheeks felt much deeper than something caused by a cold wind. That was definitely going to make fighting the freezing temperature easier.

Essek smiled softly behind his scarf. _No,_ he thought to himself, _Not a grave mistake._

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! this is my first time writing something that isn't beau/jester so i hope my characterization wasn't weird lol. i also might make this multiple chapters?? i have a rough idea of where it could go but idk. i guess let me know if that's something y'all would like! and i'd like to give a special thanks to sam and morgan for beta reading!! as always, feel free to comment your thoughts or come talk to me on tumblr @thesapphiresoul <3


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